Going Home
by JustJeanette
Summary: Summary: Jim makes a decision... This was written for SenAngst but fits the The Sentinel Thursday Prompt 'Choice' very well... Be warned though... Serious Angst follows. Warnings: Hanky time. Character Death.


**Going Home (a snippet story). **

**By JustJeanette **

**EMAIL: JustJeanette**

**Spoilers: TsbBS**

**Summary: Jim makes a decision... This was written for SenAngst but fits the The Sentinel Thursday Prompt 'Choice' very well... Be warned though... Serious Angst follows.**

**Warnings: I'm sorry about this story guys... I don't know where it came from. Hanky time. Character Death. **

**Disclaimer: The guys still belong to Paramount and Pet Fly I'm just playing. **

**Archive: Yes, please **

**Rating:PG13**

**Many Thanks to Kaelana for Beta-ing this piece.**

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"You can't just turn it off." Blair tried to sound shocked but it fell somewhat short of the mark, after all, this wasn't the first time Jim had expressed that desire. Unfortunately, this was the first time since the disaster that had been Alex Barnes and Blair had a very bad feeling about this.

Jim just ignored him, concentrating solely on Naomi, almost as though Blair wasn't worth any consideration. "Sure, I can. There's got to be some way for me to let them go dormant. Some meditation you can give me or I can find somewhere to tune out and turn all this off. I'm just done with it."

"That's not who you are." Blair tried to get his sentinel to acknowledge him. He succeeded, but not in the way he wanted, or needed.

Jim, anger radiating almost like a visible wall around the man, approached the stunned anthropologist; this was the Jim Ellison who'd first approached him in his Ranier basement office. "Well, you tell me who I am, then 'cause I have no idea. At one point, I had a reputation of being a pretty decent cop. Now, people look at me and they-they perceive me as some goofball comic book character."

Deciding enough was enough, that his trust had well and truly be broken, Jim turned away from his Guide. Stalking towards the loft door, Jim looked over his shoulder one last time, "People are calling my father and my brother asking them what it's like to live with the freak. Now, how would you like that, huh? If I ever want to go back to being a good cop and live a simple life, it ain't going to happen this way. Your research is done, Chief. Why don't you just let it go? Thanks for the tea." The door shut with awful finality behind the Sentinel; a visible break between the Sentinel and the Guide.

Blair, still stunned into speechlessness, collapsed to his knees, tears running fast, and free, down his face.

Naomi, unfortunate instigator of the current troubles, stood frozen on the stop as she watched her son. It wasn't until the young man began hyperventilating that she moved but by then it was too late. It had been too late the moment the door had closed between Sentinel and Guide.

Blair knelt in the middle of a clearing, though Blair was unaware of the fact. The soft sunlight glinting off his curls meant nothing to him; the flannel he wore failed to keep the dreaded chill at bay though the air was warm about him. Chilled from the inside, the icy pain radiating out from his lungs. Blair simply rocked in place.

A black jaguar, older than Jim's panther, walked out of the forest surrounding the clearing and approached the young man at the center. Eyes, almost human in intelligence, regarded the rocking man. Sorrow filled the clearing.

The jaguar turned and looked to the wolf that stood at the clearing's edge. The wolf nodded, once.

Blair finally felt a gradual warmth breaking through the cold that encompassed him. The heat spreading from the hand that had come to rest, gently, on his shoulder.

"Rest, young one." A father's voice commanded the crying young man.

Blair, so tired, found he didn't have the will to resist the gently command. Without even bothering to open his eyes the young anthropologist dropped his cheek to the hand. It wasn't Jim's hand, it wasn't his mother's, it belonged to an older man but at that point Blair didn't care; it was the hand of someone who cared, who wanted him and that was what he sorely needed.

Naomi began to panic as Blair continued to hyperventilate despite her best efforts to bring the attack to an end; efforts that included striking Blair sharply across the face.

'Where was Ellison when you need him?' She questioned bitterly, but she knew the answer, she was the one to drive the wedge between the two.

After what had seemed like an eternity Naomi heard the sirens approaching, thanking the Lady that Blair had 911 on speed dial, and wasn't that a fact to warm the heart of any mother, she kept at her efforts to calm her son. Vainly she tried to ignore the blue tinge that was beginning to show on his lips.

When Naomi failed to open the door, simply calling loudly enough to be heard by the paramedics outside, the men waiting did the only thing they could; Jim Ellison was going to need a new door.

The paramedics, well versed with the Ellison-Sandburg household, were stunned to note that Jim Ellison was nowhere in sight. Still, the lack of Ellison made working on anthropologist so much easier. Blair was quickly, and efficiently, bagged and intubated; an oxygen line was added in an attempt to counter whatever it was that was making it difficult for their patient to breathe.

As Blair was being admitted to Cascade General Jim walked into Simon's office completely unaware the Simon was on the phone; his senses it seemed had shut down when he'd left the loft and given the past 24 hours Jim was seeing this as a godsend.

"Oh, sir, no. There was never any intention of keeping this from you. I was merely... That's right. A full report on your desk tomorrow morning. I'd just like to say that... Right." Hanging up, Simon noticed Jim, "That was our boss. Thinks I kept the sentinel thing a secret."

"Well, Captain, in actuality, you did." Jim responded, morosely. His senses might be behaving (actually not working but he was a good detective without them as he's so recently reminded Blair Sandburg) themselves at the moment but he still feared them spiking and with all the craziness about the station that was another headache he didn't need.

"You're not helping." Simon wasn't exactly a picture of happiness at the moment, either. The Major Crimes Captain had just had his butt well and truly chewed, something he normally did to other people.

"Yes, sir."

"What are we going to do, Jim? By tomorrow morning, I have to have a full report on his desk and I don't know what I'm going to report. You know what this means? Every single case that you worked on is going to be brought up for review. That means the board of inquiry. I.A.'s going to get involved." The sheer scope of the possible disaster they faced was enough to make most men baulk.

Jim looked at his Captain, and friend. Simon had put up with a lot ever since Sandburg had bulldozed his way into their lives and maybe it was time to let them all have a rest. Not even considering the richness the young man had brought to their lives, and those around them. As the clock struck 3pm Jim made the final decision. "Captain, before we hear back from the review board or the brass tells us to go pack our bags, I'd like to go back to things the way they were before Sandburg, when I worked alone."

The words had barely left his lips when he felt the touch of ice on his heart. Shaking his head to clear the sensation, Jim returned his attention to Simon.

"You talk to Blair about this?"

"It's not his call, Captain. This is my decision. His ride is over. I want to go back to being a cop, just a regular cop. And with this sentinel thing hanging over us, it's always right there and I...I'm tired of it. I just want out."

Blair was shocked into opening his eyes; a knife of ice had plunged into his heart. "Incacha?"

The Chopec Shaman looked down at the young man who had done his best to guide the Sentinel of the Great City. "I'm sorry, young one. It is time you came home.

Naomi looked at the clock in emergency and cried. Christ's death hour had come, and taken Blair with it.

**End**

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